June 23, 2005

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

. Posted by Hello
My unfortunate convergence with this spider occurred yesterday. It all started with the laundry. Yes, I am still doing laundry from vacation. I ventured into the basement, or rather the den of all things arachnid, to put the whites into the dryer and begin yet another load of beach towels. Really, how much sand can one transport from another state before it becomes a matter for customs?

Upon entering the basement I discovered it was once again slated for condemnation by the board of health. So my usual, "Oh, I'll just vacuum," turned into a scrub the basement smackdown. As I was cleaning the toilet I noticed empty toilet paper tubes strewn about behind the potty. Now, I saw a spider web but I believed I was immune from eminent danger because I had a talisman on my person. Actually, I was on the phone with Kevin and I felt his supernatural telephone powers could prevent catastrophe from befalling me. Not so on this day, my friends! I picked the toilet paper tube up off of the floor and out crawled this disgusting creature. I did not scream because I was on the phone and Kevin has stated before that he strongly dislikes my Wes Craven-Michael Myers in a hockey mask at your door with Freddy Kreuger and Hannibal Lechter holding a fork, scream.

I calmly hung up the phone and began hot pursuit of the offending arachnid. You have to understand that I have an unnatural healthy fear of spiders and the last thing I wanted to do was catch the creepy crawly, but I also did not want it roaming free in the basement to catch me and eat me, ala Frodo in Lord of the Rings. I carefully picked up the toilet paper tube and promptly discarded it into a plastic garbage bag. I tied the bag as tight as I could and shuddered in fear at what I had just done. I tried to go back to cleaning but I swear to you on all that is good and true that I heard rustling in that bag. I truly felt the spider was going to manage a Houdini-like escape and seek revenge on its captor. That would be me.

Somewhere in all of this I had the thought, take a picture, because no one will believe the spider was gigantic and scary. So I did take a picture and unfortunately there is no marker to show scale, but can you trust me that it was ginormous? (Gotta give props to the movie Elf for that word.)

I was telling my mom about the spider confrontation and John asked me how big the spider was. I told him in my world, it was huge!


Kevin worked very late last night so he had a late start this morning. We always love it when he has the opportunity to go into work late because it is a rarity to see him in the morning during the week. He gave me an extra long hug and I was sad to see him go. I love it that after almost ten years of marriage we still thoroughly enjoy being together. I am blessed. Even if I do have spiders in my house!


CP said...


Jess said...

Oh cm'on, that's tiny! Just teasing...LOL

Thanks for the laugh although I am sorry you had to go thorugh that, I hate spiders too. Thankfully my 7yo thinks he's manly man and catches them for me, my knight in shining armor. ;-)

BTW, I've been convinced they are breeding in my vaccum cleaner. *shudder*

Great post!

RANDI said...

Yikes! Spiders don't bug me too much, it is snakes and lizards and such that send me through the roof!

mamabear said...

Hi Laney!

Just a quick hi this morning. It sounds like you had a great time on vacation. I must confess, we didn't have nearly as good of a time as you guys did in Jamaica.
I, too, have a deathly fear of spiders. However I have discovered God's gift to us fraidy cats-the dreaded vacuum with the hose attachment. That way I can suck up the little demon from a distance to two feet away. Awww, technology.
I'm off tomorrow to Idaho to pick up my babies. I miss them, I haven't seen them in almost two weeks. I hope they miss me too.
I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time now, and it's interesting that I see other people feel the same way as I do. You have the best mom in the whole world, Laney. She is truly a woman I would be honored to call my own. The Lord has truly blessed you and your sister and brother with a mom and dad who adore you.
Jersey Girl- you have a wonderful, loving and caring daughter. You should be so proud! Can you come be my mom for a day? :-)


Jules said...

Oooooo- I hate spiders too! I used to be much worse about them, until my daughter became afraid of them too. Now I have to be the one to kill them to save her from screaming! I close my eyes, grab about 15 paper towels, scoop and squeeeeeeze. Then I hold it out as far as my arm will reach and run to the garbage can. This is, of course, followed by the little heeby-jeeby dance! :)

Jersey Girl said...

Auntie sent this to me recently:

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

Eddie said...

Hi, I was just wandering the blogosphere and here I am at your blog. I enjoy the style of how this all works.

This is one to watch.


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