February 13, 2005

Love: As A Verb

Valentines Day for Kevin and I has never really been a big deal. Our first Valentines Day together we were engaged and so we did the romantic dinner and exchange of gifts laden with hearts. This did not turn into tradition, however, and now Valentines Day pretty much passes without a blip in the screen. I don't need grandiose professions of love or sweeping gestures of romance and to be honest, they make me uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, I love diamonds and flowers as much as the next girl, but they are not the standard by which I measure my husbands love and affection toward me. I learned early on in our marriage that Kevin was not romantic in the commercial sense of the word. He was and remains to this day, a practical romancer. That's not to say that he doesn't do romantic things because he does. On our wedding day he had one single red rose delivered to me. The card read simply, "I Love You." Three little words with a lifetime attached to them.

I think the definition of romance varies from person to person. When we were first married I used to work with my mom and sister for a caterer. One particular Saturday we had a job to work and it was so hot, I got out of the shower and started sweating. Blow drying my hair was like standing under an inferno! Needless to say, I was not a happy camper! Kevin, sensing my frustration, started my car and cranked the air conditioner so when I got in it I would be cool. That, to me, is great romance! That simple gesture says he saw my frustration and wanted to make it go away. He was thinking about me and how he could make my life easier. A few years later he had a remote start device installed in my car. He bought me the expensive floor mats because he knows I don't like my vehicle messy, he helps me with the laundry, he helps me with the kids, he supports me 110% in homeschooling, he gets up everyday and goes to work so I can stay home and raise our children. He comes home from work and asks, "How can I make your life easier, sweetie" or "Do you want to get out by yourself for a while?" He gets up in the middle of the night with the kids, he gives me "Girls Day Out" with my mom and sis, he brings me coffee in bed, he speaks to me with kindness and treats me with high regard, he leaves me little notes in the morning and there is fresh coffee ready when I wake up. He makes the things of God a priority in our family. He does all of these things without complaining or asking anything in return. What others pen in greeting cards, he acts out. Love, for him, is a verb. I often think, "Boy, he got the short end of the stick!"

I could not ask for a better husband or father for my children. I thank God for him and the gift of his love and companionship.


Dy said...

Don't you love having a husband who lives his love? Zorak has always been practical in displaying his affection: an armguard b/c my arm was so bruised by my bowstring; flannel lounge pants when I was too big for my pants, but not big enough for maternity pants; coffee in the morning (I have a suspicion this is a big one that means a lot to several of us! *grin*). And being able to see it allows us to really appreciate it!

Happy Day with your Valentine every day!

Kim said...

I'm the one who isn't terribly romantic. I tend to show my love in very practical ways, and my husband just likes to be together to show his affection. One thing I love about my husband is that he is so very patient with me. He puts up with all my moods, and never harbors a grudge.