Day 4 of the Waiting Game

Kevin and I have an agreement, when he feels like he is going to go out of his mind with impatience and anxiety, he calls me and I talk him down off of the ledge, so to speak, and he does the same for me. Yesterday I felt really good about the whole situation and I shared with Kevin something that I was reminded of when I was reading and praying.

Last summer our church hosted a worship conference and there were guest pastors who came to share. One of the pastors is from Maine, his name is Ken Graves and he is a wonderful bible teacher! He was sharing about many things but the one thing that stayed with me was faith. Abraham was one of the people he was talking about and he said, "The defining moment in Abraham's life is defined by faith. He made many mistakes but he is known for his faith."

I believe, with every fiber of my being, that God is honoring our request to move. I also believe that he is forcing Kevin and I to be stretched beyond what we see and put our faith into action. Our pastor frequently says that most people have the "when I see it, then I will believe it" attitude concerning faith, but the real heart attitude should be, believe, and then you will see. After all, "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Evidence of things not seen? Evidence is tangible, right, something you can see. What is the tangible for me, the thing I see, the thing I know? I know God's word is His promise and I know I have peace about where He is leading us. So maybe that tangible is within me.

Remember the story about the disciples and the storm? When Jesus' disciples were freaking out (freaking out is not the literal translation) during the storm and they woke Him up because they wanted Him to freak out (again, not literal) with them. He asked them why they were afraid and why they had no faith. His word was His promise, "Let us cross over to the other side." Yes, my faith is indeed being stretched.

Ken also shared a little blurb about Jonah. Jonah was going to Ninevah, either on top of the water or underneath the water, he was going, but it was his choice as to how pleasant the journey was. I told Kevin that I choose on top of the water!

I also had the thought yesterday, what if this does not happen, what then? Well, it's O.K. Like I said before, Kevin and I have moved and made choices of our own accord and they have gotten us into difficult situations, I never want to do that again. So, from my heart, if the door is closed, I will not force it open. Better to be on the safe side of the closed door than living in regret on the other side.

Either way, it's all good. I am not worrying. I will not let my peace be robbed by the "what if's."

John said something on the way home from North Carolina on Sunday that I thought was just adorable and simple and pure, from his heart. He said, "You know Mommy, I was so run down when I thought we weren't going to live in North Carolina." I asked him how he knew we were going to live there and he said, "I just know it." I was overwhelmed at his honesty and the ease with which he spoke. Oh, for a childlike faith!

Today we are going to the beach. We are going to have fun and explore and laugh. Who knows, I may even let some sand get on my towel!