Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread

Thank-you all for your kind and wise words, I am simply overwhelmed. I had a long conversation with Dy this morning, she oughta be paid by the hour, LOL and I have gained some perspective about the situation.

Kevin and I talked and he really wants me to stick with our decision to put the boys in school, for now. He looked at me this morning and said, "I know you're having second thoughts." "How do you know that?" I asked. He said, "I know everything. I'm not going to let you go back on what we decided, you need a break. It's O.K." You know what? He's right. I do need a break. I have to re-group, and I need to work on letting the little things go. Until I do that, I can't be all that the boys need. I know I am making the best decision I possibly can. If I don't send them, I know we'll have a "honeymoon" period where I think everything is honky dorey until I get overwhelmed again. I am not setting a time limit, I am going to earnestly seek the Lord and I know He will show me. The homeschooling door is not closed, it's ajar.

Alright enough heaviness, I can't take it.
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Ever since my health scare and hypoglycemia diagnosis, I have really been trying to eat better, for myself and my boys. I have done a bit of researching and decided that it would be in our best interest to make our own bread using wheat that I have milled at home. Mind you, I have none of the tools required to do this, no idea how much they cost and truly no concept of what it means to "mill" wheat. But, I am going to do it anyway. So this morning I am cruisin' WTM and happened upon a very informative wheat grinding discussion. Imagine my surprise when I googled Nutrimill and saw the price.@@ My first thought, Kevin is never going to let me buy that baby.

I decided to broach the subject carefully.

L: Honey, remember I told you about those whole wheat muffins that I baked that were no good because the flour was rancid.

K: Yeeesss.

L: (Imagine me in a cheerleader outfit waving handfuls of wheat for dramatic affect and talking really fast.) Well, I did some research on making bread at home, from wheat that I grind. Did you know that I can buy a 50lb. bag of wheat for $8.00. You know how much bread we go through between the boys lunches and toast, not to mention how they love hot biscuits at dinner. Did you know, too, that the whole wheat flour you buy in the grocery store has almost no nutritional value because it takes a long time for it to go from wheat, to our table.

K: *crickets*

L: O.K. well, I think I should get a grain mill and make our own bread. (pause) But, ummm, they kind of cost a lot of mon-

*I didn't even get the whole word "money" out before he started shaking his head so vehemently that I thought he was either going to get dizzy and faint or barf on the rug.*

K: Honey, we can't spend that kind of money right now. (pause. again.) Did you already buy one?


L: No, I would never spend that kind of money without asking you first. Ahhh, just out of curiosity, how mad would you be if I did?

K: *the look*

L: Here's what I'm gonna do, I am going to pray and ask God to send me a grain mill.

K: You should, He can do it.

L: Yeah, I'm totally gonna do that. But I'm going to tell my mother I want one for Christmas, just in case that doesn't work out.

K: laughter

I am victorious!! He laughed and no animals or furniture were harmed during our conversation. *snort*

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I wanted Kevin to come up with a title for this entry but he said he had to read it first. So he read it and said, "Thanks and Bread." Now it was my turn, *crickets.* "You don't like it, right, you want something spiffy." I was washing the dishes and he was putting the chicken away. All of a sudden he says, "I've got it! Give us this day our daily bread!" No joke, people, I was thinking the same thing! Imagine what we could do if we put our brains to use for something really important!