April 27, 2006

Lizards in the Fireplace

You thought I was exaggerating, didn't you, about the lizards in the fireplace. I'm serious. As a heart attack. They are in my fireplace and they freak.me.out.

Yes, they eat the insects. Yes, they are little. Yes, boys, it's very cool that they change colors. But, I don't want lizards in my fireplace!

I am trying to impress upon the boys the grave situation that will occur should another lizard get out and freely roam our humble abode.

It happened on Sunday. I came in from Sam's Club, looked at the table and there it was. Sitting there. Staring at me. *Full body quiver* I called Kevin to come and get it. He made attempts but, let's face it, those babies are quick. The lizard ended up hiding between the dishwasher and the cabinets. Kevin left the room!!! Did you read that? He.Left.The.Room.

Hello??!!

I called after him, "Aren't you going to get it?" His non-challant reply was, "It'll come out eventually."

Fine, I'll get it myself.

I sat at the kitchen table and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Frankly, I got tired of waiting so I left the kitchen. When I came back about 10 minutes later, there it was, in the dining room. I grabbed the fly swatter and a ginormous wedding picture of us that still needs to be framed, and went after our four legged visitor.

I was able to safely usher him out of the house. The best part of that was I didn't need to touch it.

I don't know why they like the fireplace so much. The boys love seeing them in there, it's like having a wild nature show in your living room. I just know, though, that they are going to let one out.

Kevin likes the lizards, too. He thinks he's being funny when he says, "I'd rather see a lizard scurrying around the house than a mouse."

Riiiiight. I don't want to see anything scurrying around the house.

Look to the finish!

7 comments:

Dy said...

Well, if anything *must* scurry, I'm w/ Kevin on this one. Plus, they eat the other things - the ones that poop in your food and bite your children at night. Maybe try a desensitization program? (Don't know that I'd enlist any of the males in my household to help w/ that, though - yours may be more sensitive.)

When my brother lived in Hawaii, he said he encouraged the lizards to come in and set up house. They kept those-which-shall-not-be-named *insert full body quiver here* at bay.

:-) Just what you wanted to hear, huh?

Dy

Lynette said...

Just caught up on your blog. I enjoyed all your posts. Let me know how the pottery wheel works on straightening out offenders. I may try it! :)

I'm with you 100% on the lizards-should-stay-outside idea. I opened my broom closet one day last summer and there sat a big brown one on my vacuum cleaner, which I needed to use. I did what any country girl would do, I called my husband and asked him how long it'd be before he got home! I found something else to do 'til then.

Your mornings at the park sound fantastic. Wish I had your love for exercise. Maybe if I keep reading your blog it'll rub off on me. I did walk tonight, but with a 3-yr old trying to keep up, it made me think my plan to walk before the kids are up is a good idea.

CMB said...

I am SO with you! I do not want anything scurring in the house. I remember when we lived in FL and the lizards would get in - YUCK! Steve thought it was cool, I did not. Good luck - I hope they go away soon.

Jersey Girl said...

Where is the little girl who used to color at her little picnic table in the backyard while inchworms danced on the pages?

RANDI said...

I am so with you on this one, Laney! Once I found a lizard in the bathroom and I called my husband at work to tell him that I would be at my mom's house until he captured it--I wanted proof of the capture too! He had to take the bathroom cabinet completely out before he could get it! When I came home, my hubby seemed a bit perturbed, but I am not sure why!!! ;)

sleeplessinoklahoma said...

I lived in So TX when my son was very small. He had quite an imagination so when he was talking away in his room to a dinasaur I was unconcerned. Later I told him it was time to go to bed & was informed the dinasaur would not leave. I advised he should explain it was time for bed (never stymy the imagination of a kid, right?). I heard him saying "Ya gotta go. It's time for me to sleep". "Mommy, the dinasaur won't leave". I didn't see anything in his room when I went in so off to sleep he went. The next morning I was informed that the dinasaur was back. Deciding I did not want to play the dinasaur game all day so I went to slay it. There, sitting on his bookcase, was a lizard that had crawled in through his window from the flower bed. I laughed. The kid thought I was nuts. He informed me "See it's a dinasaur". I explained the difference, got a shoe box, caught the offending dinasaur, & put it back in the flower bed (remember I was a single mom). We still laugh over the "dinasaur in the house". He especially enjoys this story now that he is a Dad.

Blessed be...

Laney said...

Sleepless,
That is so funny because the kids kept telling me that it was only a lizard and I kept saying, it's a dinosaur!!:-)

Mom, she has been replaced by a lizard hating woman!! he-he