June 7, 2006

Thank-You, Frigidaire


Blogger just would not cooperate with me last night so I was forced to have a captionless picture of my new microwave and a ridiculous picture of a users manual. Bleeecchhh!

So now blogger is back and my funny post probably lost a lot of its humor. The humor may very well have been in my mind alone, but, whatever.

I was away all weekend, actually from Thursday night until late Sunday. I drove up to Maryland to join the ladies from our old church for the yearly women's retreat. It was wonderful, simply wonderful. I was able to see all of the girls that I didn't get a chance to say good-bye to in March. I have a real feeling of closure now.

Even though the retreat began Friday evening, my fabulous husband wanted me to leave Thursday night instead of Friday morning. He wanted me to be well rested and didn't want me to have white line fever upon arriving. He's awesome like that. :-)

While I was away he successfully managed to install a new microwave. This was no small feat for he had to remove the old range hood, trim the cabinet doors and do a little bit of touch up work. He did all of this with the three boys under foot AND he kept our pastor's two boys Saturday morning and afternoon. Like I said, he's awesome like that.

Let's all Ooohh and Aaahh, shall we?

Now, here's the part that was hysterically funny in my mind last night but will probably only garnish a mere chuckle now. The User's Manual. Also known as the User's Manual from hell or The Inanimate Object That Will Cause me to Throw Heavy Objects While Attempting to Defrost a Chicken Breast.

Click on the picture and it will enlarge. You will note, with some interest, that the manual is 23 pages long. They begin with a Welcome and Congratulations. Why, thank-you!

Next comes important safety features. I now know that I should not bring the microwave into the bathtub with me and attempt to boil a cup of water for tea. Did you know that a Zone bar wrapper will explode into 41 individual pieces if placed in the microwave and the microwave is then turned on? Don't ask, just go with it.

There are eight, front and back ,pages on how to cook food in this thing. Kevin and I tried to defrost chicken the other night. Needless to say, it didn't go well. Neither of us had read the manual and there are 4000 buttons on the microwave face. Our old microwave had 5 buttons and one of them said, Defrost. The other one said, Poultry. Life should be that easy.

I finally figured out the defrost commands. On the third Tuesday of the seventh month when the planets have realigned, the moon is waxing gibbons and you have on brown shoes and a white shirt, you push defrost and hit the power level button until it hits 30% and then, depending on how much chicken you have, you hit start or time defrost and hope for the best, or that Salmonella is really not as horrific as people say it is. Confused? You are not alone.

Anyway, it's a lovely microwave.

Look to the finish!


Donna Boucher said...

That is a fine looking microwave!!!

Bridget said...

I was so excited when we finally got our over the stove microwave. A wonderful birthday/Christmas gift from my wonderful brother last year. I still stand back and look at it with awe.

CMB said...

Nice piece of machinery! I love my microwave. It was one of the first things we bought when we moved in. They used to take up so much space on the counter! Congrats!

sleeplessinoklahoma said...

Cooool!!! I love the micros that are mounted under cabinets. Frees up the counter space.

Blessed be...

PS. LOVED the pics of the little men...& you!!
Such a beautiful family. The boys really do all look like Kevin.

sleeplessinoklahoma said...


mamabear said...

I'm glad you had a wonderful time at the women's retreat. It's always so refreshing to get away and get with women who love the Lord away from the hubbub of home life for a short time. Oh, and your hubby is great for letting you sneak away early. He's a keeper!

Love your new microwave! Man, whatever happened the days of microwaves with a knob you turn for how many minutes (gasp-not seconds) you want something nuked!

Carrie K. said...

You can always use that huge user's manual for our favorite alternate use - propping up the corner of the griddle where the leg fell off!

Dy said...

When in doubt, grill - fire kills everything. :-)

The mircrowave is gorgeous, btw. And Kevin totally rocks for pulling that off with all the small ones running about - wow!!

Glad you're back. :-)

Meg said...

Wow..Kevin is sooo great....can I switch hubbys for a week? I only have a bathroom that needs redoing, a rug to be pulled up and laminate floor to be installed...I can hear him cringing in the corner, he he!
It was SO SO SO great to see you last week! was that a week ago? I really was so happy to spend some time with you..I've missed you ol buddy ol pal! um, whats waxing gibbons mean and where in the world did you learn that phrase? God love ya!