On Number 2's

"Guess what, mom?" Joe said as he walked in from outside.

"What?"

"Sami pooped outside."

"Oh, good." I said.

"And guess what else? She ate her poop. That's what dogs do, right, they eat their own poop."

"Well, sometimes they do."

(pause)

"But, I don't eat my poop, right mom?"

Praise Jesus, no.