September 13, 2011

Runaway Jury

My husband was selected for jury duty. You would think that he won the lottery, the way he is strutting around all proud of himself. He came home and said, "If it doesn't fit you must acquit." OK, Johnny Cochran. I am going to have to break it to him at some point that he is a juror, not an attorney. It is my fear that he is going to get put in jail for being in contempt of court for some crazy thing like standing up in the juror box and yelling, "I OBJECT!" Then I will have to bail him out with my birthday money, and he will lose his job for doing time in the big house. (He just read this post, before I posted it, and he said that in all actuality I would be the one to do something crazy. If I am being honest, my brotha has a point.) Oh! Also, the judge told him that they are allowed to call a sidebar. How awesome is that? I would be all over the Sidebar.

When is lunch?

Can I go to the bathroom?

Will Kato Kaelin be testifying?

Have you ever googled funny court questions? People say crazy stuff during trails. How much would you love to have been a juror on this case?

  • Lawyer: "Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?"
  • Witness: "Yes, sir."
  • Lawyer: "What did she say?"
  • Witness: "'What disco am I at?'"

Joe is taking piano lessons. We bought a small Yamaha keyboard from Craig's list. It is the perfect starter instrument, and came loaded with a myriad of preloaded sounds including a freight train and a gorilla. So far all anyone has played is the Jaws theme song. That is not irritating at all. Kevin pressed one of the preloaded beats and began hitting random keys, all ending with the gorilla's grunt. Also not irritating. Tomorrow I am going Tiger mom on all of them. No child of mine will make imitation gorilla sounds at the piano recital.

1 comment:

Tatum @ Many Moments Of Me said...

Hey there! Long time no talk. Your post is so funny. I had to be on a jury for a murder trial back when I lived in Atlanta...weird!! The sidebar thing is interesting, I've never heard of it before.