October 21, 2005

Happy Friday

Two posts in two days, woo-hoo, check me out!

O.K. so, here's the deal. Three weeks ago we put the boys in school, the school that our church just started. It was the right decision for one of my children but the wrong decision for the other one.

Jeremy has been struggling and his struggles are breaking my heart. Technically, he tested into first grade, but really, he should be in Kindergarten. He is bright and articulate and funny, but he does not belong in first grade. The past three weeks have been nothing but frustration and, well, upsetness. All week I have been wrestling with the decision, should I pull him out or keep him in?

I have prayed and when I say pray, I mean I am on my knees beseeching God for an answer. I thought He was not giving me one until I realized that my lack of peace in the situation was His answer. When I woke up this morning, I knew that I was taking Jeremy out of school as of 3:00 this afternoon and bringing him home for the rest of the year and I finally felt peace. I felt the knot in my stomach disappear and the tension behind my eyes leave.

I went to the school this morning and told the principal who responded with a smile and kind words. I felt relief and joy.

John doesn't want to come home, he is really happy being in school and honestly, he is doing great. They use Saxon math and the drill has been extremely beneficial for him as math has the potential to be his weakest subject. I feel alright about him staying and so does Kevin.

Kevin and I are in complete agreeance that Jeremy needs to be home. It will be good for him to have uninterrupted time with me as John tends to be the more dominant personality and Jeremy will sit back and let him. I was able to give John an excellent reading foundation and I have not really done that with Jeremy. I focused on reading aloud more than having Jeremy read to me and I need to change the emphasis a bit.

My heart split in two the other night when he said to me, "Mommy, all of the other kids read so much faster than I do and I always lose my place. I can't always read the words I am supposed to." I don't want him to label himself as "the dumb kid" or to believe that he is not capable of doing the work. He is capable, so capable. One of the reasons we wanted to homeschool was to take the pressure of competition off of them and have them learn at their own pace. That isn't happening for Jeremy in school and thankfully, I have the power to change it.

This is the best decision we could make and I am thrilled that he is coming home. I miss my baby and he misses me. John was ready to go, willing to be pushed, ever so gently, out of the nest for a time. I said it once before and I really believe it is true that the homeschool door, for John, is not shut, simple ajar.


Kevin worked the last four days, two 12 hour shifts and two sixteen hour shifts. We have barely seen him and this morning I was feeling mushy. You know, hugging him and following him around the house. He said, "You missed me, didn't you." I said, "Of course I did. I love you, you idiot."

Don't you wish you were married to me?


Meg said...

It sounds like you truly made the right decision for Jeremy. His peace it a great indicator and the fact that you and Kevin are in agreement is even better! God love ya!

Jess said...

Hmmmm Godly, beautiful, great family, doting mom, clean freak? Yeah sure, I'd marry you! LOLOL

I'm glad you have come to an answer to your daily prayers! And I'm glad God has given you that peace again. Sometimes I think we get so excited we throw the baby in wtih the bathwater so to speak. Maybe this was Gods intention all along, just putting John in for now?

I hope you have a blessed year with all your boys! :-)


Donna Boucher said...

Jeremy is still so little...
I'll bet it's sweet to have him home.

I have done a mix of homeschoolers and private schoolers in my day. It worked out just fine!

I love that we can choose what is best for 'each' of our children.

I'm glad your fretting is over!


Dy said...

:-) I've been waiting for this post since we chatted the other day. It was a great way to end a wonderful day. How's that peaceful sensation feel? :-) I'm so very happy for all of you!!