February 25, 2006

3:25 a.m.

Yep, that's what time we finally crawled into bed last night. The airline Jet Blue has become my arch enemy and the Ft.Lauderdale airport is is a most unfriendly place. Let's review what went wrong, shall we? :

I couldn't find the correct shuttle to take me to terminal one.

I arrived at terminal one and went to get on the security inspection line; without my boarding pass. (Mea culpa!)

Get directions from the nice Jet Blue lady wearing too much perfume. *gag* I go to get the boarding pass. At this point I really love Jet Blue because the check-in process can be done by me in 2 minutes.

Run back to the line only to have Helmut, the stinky salami man, tell me that I am in the wrong check-in area. He tells me to go back up the stairs, walk 12 miles through the snow, uphill, cross the gum drop forest - wait! I exaggerated a bit, there was no snow and the gum drop forest was in elf. What can I say, it felt far. The upside? I got in a good cardio workout.

Get to the correct line with the correct papers and go through security with no problems.

Realize - I'm hungry. Check the time, good, 45 minutes. Get on line for a greasy, nauseating Pizzeria Uno pizza, definitely not what I should have eaten before boarding. Wait on line for 18 minutes and get treated very poorly for not having any bill smaller than a $20.

Proceed to gate 9B, sit and partake of the pizza.

Get nervous because there is no flight information posted. None.

Call Kevin.

Phone rings and rings. He answers. What was he doing you ask? Getting a foot massage at the Chinese market!

Steam comes out of my ears at this point and I begin to babble incoherently about checking flight times and delays.

Hang up with Kevin and call my knight in shining armor, AKA, my mommy, to ask her to check the Jet Blue website for me.

She says, and I quote, "You're not gonna like this." The flight that was supposed to leave at 9:10 has been delayed until 11:25!

I try to remain calm and laugh at the situation and I'm doing well until I realize...

As I was getting my pizza, the one, and only coffee place in that wing of the terminal was closing. I didn't see any cause for alarm while it was closing because I knew that I could get coffee on the plane. With my coffee prospects dimming, panic set in.

I told my mother that Kevin didn't even care that I was stranded here at the airport, in grave peril, for he was getting a foot massage! She reminded me, in the way that only mothers can, that I was not in peril. Then I told her that there was no coffee and she began to see my point. She was ready to circle the wagons and send me dad to bring me coffee. I thanked her but assured her that I would be fine.

Kevin calls to beg my forgiveness for his cruel insensitivity.

Just kidding, he called to make sure that I was alright and update me with the info from the Jet Blue website.

So there I sat, for three hours. I read the Memoria Press catalog and I tried to get into All The Pretty Horses but found it to be a difficult read. Maybe it was the lack of caffeine or pure exhaustion, either one, I can't be sure.

I watched a boy get a nose bleed. Saw a mother give her 19 month old baby a bottle of soda and then beseeched God to make sure they were sitting nowhere near me. The newlywed couple next to me had a fight and some lady fell asleep while talking on her cell phone, that one was funny.

Our plane finally arrived and we were lifting off the ground at 12:03 a.m. I was fortunate to be sitting in row five, close to the escape hatch door. As soon as the flight attendant opened the door I stood up and ran off of that plane, through the airport and out the door to where Kevin was waiting.

Why the delay you ask? High winds. Would I do it all over again just to assure my children's safety and well being? In a heartbeat!

The boys and I did arrive safely and on time. They were thrilled to see grandma and she was equally as thrilled to see them. I thought that Joe would not want to leave me but he looked at my mom and said, "I go in there," meaning his stroller, the indication that he wanted to leave. My mom said, "Say good-bye to mommy, " he held up his sweet little hand and said, "bye mommy." Just.Like.That.

No tears, no histrionics, I did well.

So this ends my story. Today Laurie and I are doing a marathon pack.

Look to the finish!


mindy said...

Girlfriend, you are kid-free!!!! Sure, you're exhausted, and sure you'll be packing and working, but don't forget to enjoy the fact that you don't have to stop to make anyone lunch or moderate any bickering! I'll be thinking of you the next couple few days!!

CMB said...

Congratulations on your trips! Even with the messes and chaos, you did it. Good luck today with your marathon pack and I'll see you tomorrow!

Jess said...

ROFL I was about to ask what you were complaining about until I realized you had the boys - ACK!

Hugs and glad the chaos is over. Be sure to share sisterly giggles during the crazy packing episodes... :-)


Laurie said...

Hey Lanie - I had fun packing with you today BUT I think it was the cause of my meltdown in Applebee's. I just wanted to say I'll miss you alot. I love you.

mamabear said...

Oh my goodness, I think I might have had a meltdown if it had been me. Man, don't you just love airports.

I'm glad your sister was able to help you pack.

Praying for a safe move.

Needleroozer said...

I can't believe with all you have going on that you made the time to stop at my blog, and then apologized for not coming around much! Girl! You are doing so well with all this!

Sounds like you did a great job at the airport. I hate the airport. Good luck on getting all the packing done- remember,it is okay to just throw stuff into a box and mark it misc.

Thinking of you through your marathon packing days.

Jules said...

Isn't it fun to watch people at the airport? Falling asleep while on the phone? Giving a 19 month old a soda? it makes me sing the Doors, "people are strange..."

Now it's the final countdown and you are kidless- it should be a breeze! ;)
I will pray that everything goes according to plan.

Chaotic Mom said...

First time on your blog and I like it! I'll have to read more to figure out why your packing, etc.

Airports, I hate them. DH has to fly for work a lot. Last week he missed his connecting flight becasue it LEFT EARLY. YIKES!

Well, I hope your packing doesn't overwhelm you too much. Take a break for yourself, too. :)

sleeplessinoklahoma said...

Laughing hysterically!!! I just love you!!! I can identify with the airport. Things can go from bad to worse in a heartbeat (I used to work for an airline & DO NOT miss it at ALL-too much drama!!)
Have fun packing!!
Safe journey dear girl!!

Traveling mercies...

Dy said...

You did very well, my friend. I kinda wish you'd do a blogging marathon of the last 48 hours before the official big liftoff, but that would probably defeat the whole purpose of being kidless and doing the speed-packing thing, huh?

Ah, well, know that I'm sending fast packing vibes your way, and may some kind stranger with more money than sense come by and offer to pay you handsomely for whatever isn't packed by tomorrow afternoon!