April 13, 2006

I know, I know. Blog something already!

I actually have some big news to report, I am quitting my job. There are a plethora of reasons surrounding this decision but the most important reason is my children. Three mornings a week I drag them from their cozy little spots on the couch and out to a gym so that I can earn too little money, be completely aggravated and continue to destroy my left heel.

On Monday I began to have this nagging feeling of, "This is not right." I went to teach my class and thought maybe if some blood got pumping to my brain I would feel differently. Nope. Didn't happen. I felt worse.

We are used to very laid back, relaxed mornings and with me working, they have been less than relaxing. The restless is really in my own heart because I know this is not how I want things to be. The one thing that has been suffering is our bible and prayer time, the key ingredient to a peaceful day. We do this over breakfast and because our breakfast routine has had a major upheaval, so has our bible time. I try to fit it in at other times during the day but that hasn't been working either. It dawned on me that I am teaching my children things that I don't want them to learn.

I am teaching them that there are things more important than spending time with God. I am teaching them that what I want supersedes what's right for them. I am teaching them that their education is not my first priority. I don't want them to learn these things so I am saying, "When." I have had enough.

All day Monday I had a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that would come and go. Everytime that I felt it, I just prayed for wisdom. I knew, though, that I should quit working, that was the only option that afforded me any kind of peace.

I knew that I had to call Kevin and tell him what I was thinking. I have always felt a little bit guilty when I don't work. It's not that we need the extra money to live, but when I am earning a paycheck then I don't feel so bad about buying shoes or doing extra activities with the boys such as art and drum lessons.

I called him and told him that I wanted to quit my job, that I thought it was what I should be doing. His replied with the guilt allaying, "Good. It's too much right now."

I feel so free! Teaching aerobics is not a noble venture like curing cancer or being a shoe maker, but it was fun. I always said that when it stopped being fun, I wouldn't do it anymore. It's not fun. I'm not doing it anymore. I agreed to finish out this week but not without some gliches. My plantar fasciitis, the one that I thought was gone? She's back, and with a vengeance. Last Wednesday's step class was so excruciatingly painful for me to teach that I wanted to cry. Seriously. I have a pretty high pain threshold but that was just nuts!

With every pounding step on my foot I thought, "This is soooo not worth $15 an hour!" Did I mention that the pay scale down here is significantly lower for group fitness instructors? No? Well it is. In N.J. I was making $34 an hour (heel pain is a little easier to swallow when you are being well compensated.)

So, anyhoo. The boys are happier, I'm happier, things are going well. Now, if I could just walk...


Look to the finish!

11 comments:

Carrie said...

Good for you, Laney! And I will be praying that your foot feels better soon - it's exhausting to be in pain all the time.

sleeplessinoklahoma said...

Way to go girl!! God & family are always first priorities. Glad you listened to your heart. You are a very blessed woman...wonderful husband & fabulous little men.

Happy Easter....

mamabear said...

I think you made a wise decision. I don't know why it's so hard to make those "No, duh" decisions when we need to. I hope your foot feels better very soon.

Saved by Grace! said...

Way to go!! Good choice!!
Sure hope your foot ailments are over quickly.

Writing and Living said...

You did the right thing. Good for you.

Dy said...

You GO, Girl! I'm proud of you for listening to God's whisper, b/c lemme tell ya, you don't want Him to have to start shouting. ;-)

Dy

RANDI said...

Laney, I am glad that this is working out well--you have such a wonderfully supportive hubby! Somehow I think he won't mind financing your little shoe habit!

It is funny (sad?) how little meaningless things creep in and become so important in our lives and they overshadow the things that we have worked so hard for. We are blessed that God is faithful to lead us where He wants us-time and time again!

Have a greay day!

Lynette said...

I'm happy for you. Praying for the foot to heal.

Jess said...

You will never regret this decision. There's always room to teach others. There's only a precious limited time to teach your children.

({({({hugs)})})}

Meg said...

Hi HI HI!!! So glad to back reading your blogs. I've read a lot of them but haven't commented because I thought I forgot my password...yes its been that long!! I had to try to figure it out for a comment on this blog. Way to go. I know this decision is one you've struggled with for a long time. So glad to see that you are doing so well in your new home base. Your home is beautiful. I'll have to get your email and phone number. Hi to the boys and to Kevin. God Bless!

Meg said...

I hope your heel is better too!!