Moving Mountains

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.


That is the chorus to one of the worship songs that we sang in church yesterday. I got as far as "Saviour, He can move the mountains" when I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes began to sting with tears. The past two years have been one trial after another. My life has been in a constant state of upheaval with nary a break in the stress. I am not whining and I am not complaining, just stating a fact. There are things that God has allowed to happen that, if I am being honest, I resent. That is the hard, plain truth, sorry if it offends.

"He can move the mountains."

But.

What if He doesn't?

At least not in the way that you expect Him to. What if you wanted the mountain completely removed and instead you were asked to go over the mountain, and it seemed to grow steeper and rockier with each laborious step forward? What if with each step you felt your faith not growing, but slipping through your fingers like sand. Was there ever faith there to begin with if it could wane so easily?

I thought about all of those things yesterday, and I came to realize that instead of letting God be God, I was attempting to fit Him into the box that I created. It was a box of safety, and familiarity. A box with no surprises and no heartache. A box where I was in charge of what went in and what came out. Faith cannot grow in such a box.

This Easter was about me learning to let go. Realizing that it took Jesus three days to rise from the dead. It has taken me time to rise from the ashes of disappointment, sorrow, and even anger. All of this has taken me longer than three days. But what I came to realize is that there is faith in the realization, and I have taken the first step.

I once read a quote that goes like this, "When a we take one step toward God, He runs toward us."

As a runner that quote speaks to me. Runners prepare to run, it takes effort. Anyone at anytime can get up and walk, but running takes preparation. I make that first step back to a relationship with God, and there He is, at the starting line, already prepared to run to me when I am ready to walk to Him.

I just had to get up.