April 5, 2010

Moving Mountains

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.


That is the chorus to one of the worship songs that we sang in church yesterday. I got as far as "Saviour, He can move the mountains" when I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes began to sting with tears. The past two years have been one trial after another. My life has been in a constant state of upheaval with nary a break in the stress. I am not whining and I am not complaining, just stating a fact. There are things that God has allowed to happen that, if I am being honest, I resent. That is the hard, plain truth, sorry if it offends.

"He can move the mountains."

But.

What if He doesn't?

At least not in the way that you expect Him to. What if you wanted the mountain completely removed and instead you were asked to go over the mountain, and it seemed to grow steeper and rockier with each laborious step forward? What if with each step you felt your faith not growing, but slipping through your fingers like sand. Was there ever faith there to begin with if it could wane so easily?

I thought about all of those things yesterday, and I came to realize that instead of letting God be God, I was attempting to fit Him into the box that I created. It was a box of safety, and familiarity. A box with no surprises and no heartache. A box where I was in charge of what went in and what came out. Faith cannot grow in such a box.

This Easter was about me learning to let go. Realizing that it took Jesus three days to rise from the dead. It has taken me time to rise from the ashes of disappointment, sorrow, and even anger. All of this has taken me longer than three days. But what I came to realize is that there is faith in the realization, and I have taken the first step.

I once read a quote that goes like this, "When a we take one step toward God, He runs toward us."

As a runner that quote speaks to me. Runners prepare to run, it takes effort. Anyone at anytime can get up and walk, but running takes preparation. I make that first step back to a relationship with God, and there He is, at the starting line, already prepared to run to me when I am ready to walk to Him.

I just had to get up.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Laney, I am SO proud of you (and you know I know what I'm saying), and SO thankful for Him (words cannot express, but you came very close). This was an awesome post. Thank you, for taking the time to share your experience and transformation so beautifully. (can't get Google to log me in, so I'm having to post anon on this - sorry.)

Anonymous said...

Oh - DER! It helps if I sign my name, huh? That was Dy, up there. :-)

Laney said...

Thanks, Dy.

Camille said...

Chills through and through. Thank you for sharing and inspiring. It was just beautiful.

So, are you running again?

mindy said...

Laney, I love that song, and I REALLY love hearing how God is working in you!!!! I'm praying for you, sister!!!

Laney said...

Camille- Yes, I am running again. The winter here was nasty and running took a back burner to classes at the gym. This is perfect running weather.

Megan said...

Elaine, what an incredible post. Truly beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing your heart.

Molly Alexander said...

Hi Laney -

I just found your blog through Mindy Buller & wanted to tell you how beautiful I think this post is. You are speaking the words describing how most of us feel at times in our lives. Keep running - He'll stay right by your side the whole way, and when you can't go another step, lean on Him & let Him do the hard work.

:-) Molly

Laney said...

Molly- Thank-you for stopping by to encourage me. :-)

mamabear said...

Love that song. I even bought it on iTunes so I can listen to it on my iPod at the gym when I'm working out. Great post, my dear.
Reminds me of another song:

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from Heaven above
With wisdom, power and love,
Our God is an awesome God.

hugs,
dawn