May 11, 2010

I'll have the chipper chicken

In case you did not catch the title, it is from the hilarious Steve Martin and Martin Short movie, Father of the Bride. Here is the scene in case you are not familiar with the film.

That is some serious Funny.

I think that I am cheap. I am not cheap in the sense that I am stingy or miserly, not at all. I will share whatever I have with you whenever I can. But I am cheap in the sense that I think everything should be $5.oo. I simply do not like to pay a lot of money for commercial goods which is why I love garage sales and Craig's list.

Enter the dilemma.

Joe had this Mr.Freeze toy from McDonalds. Well, he lost it, or rather he threw it over a fence a year ago when he was in his Dwight Gooden phase. We have since listened to him bemoan the fact that life is devoid of meaning and all eternity is lost without Mr.Freeze. I told him to build a bridge and get over it, but Kevin, well, he is a sucker. He searched Ebay and found Mr.Freeze.

Ebay? Ebay is a racket. I know, I know. I am all about the free market and capitalism, until it bites me in the butt and presumes to bilk me out of hard earned money. We found one Mr.Freeze to bid on, and the bidding began at $2.oo with $4.oo for shipping. Four dollars! To ship a Mickey D's toy! Even if I won the bid at 2 dollars, it was still going to cost me 6 dollars altogether. I am awesome at math, I know. I could buy 2 happy meals for that price.

I ended up in a bidding war. Bidding wars do strange things to you. What began as Kevin's desire to replace a toy for Joe became my life's mission and I would sooner die than not win that auction. O-kay, maybe that is a little exaggerated, but if you have ever been involved in a bidding war on Ebay, you can relate. I was constantly checking my e-mail. I wrote the end time and date for the auction on my calendar. I sat at the computer for the last 26 minutes of the auction and watched the minutes of my life tick away as I refreshed the computer screen and stared at a piece of cheap plastic crap. I was all in, and it paid off.

At 8:45 pm, on April 23, for the absurd figure of $8.25, I gave birth to Mr.Freeze. And yes, it did feel like labor. Joe was thrilled! I was thrilled! Kevin was thrilled! It was a heckuva day on Ebay!

Bringing Mr.Freeze home was a joyous occasion indeed. He arrived in an envelope, that cost me $4.oo, in its original McDonald's packaging. At least I can take comfort in the fact that when Joe tires of the toy, I can turn around and sell it and get my $8.25 back.

Guess where I found this beloved tchotchke this morning?

Under the bed, encased in dust. Yes, I spent almost nine dollars...on a dust collector.



Anonymous said...

oh my goodness the lengths we go to please our children....your post made me laugh. The movie is one of our favorites. It is not my husbands though, because I think he sees himself as Steve. He finds no humour in that mans delima....I think Martin Short is hilarious. I also think ebey is a rip off, but we do what we must.

Ashley said...

I, too, have a "Mr. Freeze", only she is/was a purple My Little Pony. My DD left it on the floor for the dog to find and chew til his heart was content the pony severely disfigured. It was her FAVORITE! We had the talk about putting the toys away so that they would be safe. I, stupidly, thought the conversation was absorbed and went and bought another pony. Well, Toy's R Us did not have the original one that was mutilated so, I had to bite my tongue and bought the larger one. Where did I find it three days later? In the back yard missing it's head. *sigh*

Laney said...

Ashley- We, at least, did not have to deal with decapitation. LOL

Cotton Blossom said...

I love your style! I hope someday you decide to 'cross over' and become a contributor of CHIT CHAT...we'd love to have you!

Laney said...

Cotton Blossom- Thank-you! I love it over there. I will consider it!